Wow, it has been a very long time since I've posted anything on this blog.  Since time has a way of flying by, and life has a way of changing from one moment to the next, I can happily report that many things have changed since my last whiny post about being tired of life.  I'll definitely have to try getting back into the habit of posting these little entries, because it certainly lends perspective to the brevity of life, when I can look back just a few short years ago and see just how much has changed!

Tired of life...

I am. Tired of life, that is. I have a pretty decent life, and I have no desire or intention to end it - I'm just tired of it. One day is much the same as the next. If it isn't a leak in the water heater, it's a bee's nest in the window. Mow the lawn just for it to grow again. Oh, need to buy groceries. Again.

What happened to that young, excited for life girl that I used to be? Where did she go? I guess when you work so hard to achieve something, then wake up one day to realize you have it and wonder what all the fuss was about, well, that can be a bit troubling. I started going to a gym. I started volunteering at the humane society. I'm really trying to come up with new ways to amuse myself, to shed this apathy.

I remember when I was 19, I went grocery shopping at 1 a.m. because that's when i got off of work. I actually enjoyed grocery shopping. It still amazed me that I was shopping for my own kitchen, with my own money, according to my own tastes.

I used to like driving myself places. In my own car, doing my own thing on my own terms. The freedom of it. Now I just want a chauffeur.

I probably shouldn't be blogging this. People are going to think I'm depressed or suicidal. Not even the case. I think everybody have times when they feel like this. Like we are caught up in the daily grind, and can't get off this ride so we can explore the other rides at the fair. Unfortunately, like the fair, life costs money. And has rules, courtesy of society. I'm just feeling the need to write about some of these feelings. I would normally put this down in my good old fashioned paper notebook and lock it away from the world, but for some reason I am in a sharing mood. I need some new goals, but what direction do I want to take? Haha, I think this is what most people would call a mid-life crisis, but I'm not even 30 yet! :)

I am getting so terribly excited for Scott's arrival.  We are in the single digits now on the countdown and the time is just flying by!  I am keeping very busy and work and preparing for the move, so I don't have much time to sit down and worry about everything, which is a good thing in my world.  Lots of good-byes coming up - I am planning a trip to Buckley this weekend, and spending Memorial Day visiting some friends up here in the north that I don't see very often.  Then I have lunches booked all next week with work friends.  I don't like the good-bye part of moving...

Starting to let go...

My last drill was this past weekend.  Kinda funny - we were in Yakima for an SRP.  It was sort of the WAARNG saying "Yep, we are determined to get one more trip to YUCK-ima out of you before we let you go!"

Meg, one of the lieutenants, and I carpooled over together along with Jane.  A small group of us went out dancing and had a few drinks on Saturday night after the duty day was done.  It was fun, but a late night made getting up early the next day pretty tough.  I have been tired most of this week as a sort of domino effect.  Today, I'm feeling better, though.

I'm excited for the next phase.  I will likely have to work for a year - just until we get the house squared away and the wedding paid for.  Oh, yeah, and until I get a new car.  Sammy is truly on her last legs.  When I get to the point with a car that each morning is a roulette of will it start or won't it, then it's time to trade up.  But I digress.

I think I will work full-time and go to school part time, maybe even online courses.  I need to get my math back up to speed before I can think about applying for the engineering program.  Then, hopefully after the wedding, I can cut my work hours WAAAAAY back and go to school full time.  Only time will tell if that option will be available.

Next stop, Ohio!

I'm so in love with this man! I am impatiently awaiting the day he gets out here and we get our stuff packed up and start the drive back to our new home. I may not be thrilled about Ohio, but it's growing on me, and as I recall, I wasn't thrilled about Seattle when we first moved out here, either. And this last trip home really opened my eyes to something. A subtle feeling that my home is where he is. I can be okay anywhere as long as we are together.

Ugh, my car...

Wouldn't start again. I had to have Jen come pick me up and drive me to work (which wasn't too big of a problem since we carpool on Thursdays normally, anyway). Usually I drive to her place and we leave from there around 7:30. However, since it was already after 7:00 when I called her to let her know I needed a ride (about the time she is normally getting out of bed), she didn't get to my house until nearly 8:00, which means I was 1/2 hour late for work. I'll be working late to make that up, since Jen is working until 7:00 or 8:00 tonight anyway. Yet, despite the morning drama, my mood is relatively chipper. Odd. Anyway, I'm hoping that the car problem is a simple fix, like the battery needs to be replaced. That's something I can do myself. If it is anything more complex, it may necessitate a trip to the mechanic, and I really don't feel like paying for that. So here's to optimism (and lots of finger-crossing)!

Birthday Ticker

It will be my first birthday back in the midwest! So many big plans - it will probably be a doozie of a party :)