Tired of life...

I am. Tired of life, that is. I have a pretty decent life, and I have no desire or intention to end it - I'm just tired of it. One day is much the same as the next. If it isn't a leak in the water heater, it's a bee's nest in the window. Mow the lawn just for it to grow again. Oh, need to buy groceries. Again.

What happened to that young, excited for life girl that I used to be? Where did she go? I guess when you work so hard to achieve something, then wake up one day to realize you have it and wonder what all the fuss was about, well, that can be a bit troubling. I started going to a gym. I started volunteering at the humane society. I'm really trying to come up with new ways to amuse myself, to shed this apathy.

I remember when I was 19, I went grocery shopping at 1 a.m. because that's when i got off of work. I actually enjoyed grocery shopping. It still amazed me that I was shopping for my own kitchen, with my own money, according to my own tastes.

I used to like driving myself places. In my own car, doing my own thing on my own terms. The freedom of it. Now I just want a chauffeur.

I probably shouldn't be blogging this. People are going to think I'm depressed or suicidal. Not even the case. I think everybody have times when they feel like this. Like we are caught up in the daily grind, and can't get off this ride so we can explore the other rides at the fair. Unfortunately, like the fair, life costs money. And has rules, courtesy of society. I'm just feeling the need to write about some of these feelings. I would normally put this down in my good old fashioned paper notebook and lock it away from the world, but for some reason I am in a sharing mood. I need some new goals, but what direction do I want to take? Haha, I think this is what most people would call a mid-life crisis, but I'm not even 30 yet! :)